I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
