Princesses don't give blow jobs
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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