I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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