He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
