he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I AM VODKA MAN
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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