I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
