OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
