is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
