just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
