fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
