the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize