is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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