but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She announced her abortion via fbk
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
