Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
