Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
organizing the empties. That sober.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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