i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
