And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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