We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
