if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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