Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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