If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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