also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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