This dress was meant to end up on your floor
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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