i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
