after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
