All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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