I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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