Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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