Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sext me about skeletons
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
