he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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