Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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