Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am one with the molecules
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
