Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
