So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize