Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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