so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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