Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
people are starting to question the shark bite story
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
