Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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