just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
