Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
