He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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