then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
