Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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