I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize