At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
