i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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