took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
