so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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