In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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