I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
