I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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