so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
