We're facebook friends in real life
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
