I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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