so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
