i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
as a side note pls kill me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
