I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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